When your mind is smashed, your body exists only to feed the heart, if you no longer feel you no longer have a straight thought, all you feel is numb, nothing really motivates you, happy thoughts linger in a memory that no longer exists in the present. Empty shell, a ghost of what was has become a nightmare that is your loss. I am in a spot that is shell like, just existing, breathing becomes a chore, and my heart is quiet, and still. I want to change this but I can’t, it isn’t my choice, it is a cause to the effect. I’ll walk around wondering where to go next, getting tired of the fight. Tired of the reasons I have to be where I am. I can’t escape the pain, I can only numb it until it becomes apart of my everyday.