Forget the way…

In these coming months, I have to start the healing process of losing you, and moving on. I need to forget the way you feel in my arms. I need to forget the way your lips feel when they are cold and chapped, or warm and soft. I need to start forgetting the love we shared, the laughs we had, the struggles we made it through. I need to forget how your little hand felt in mine. I need to forget all the stories you shared with me about your family and friends. I need to forget the passion we shared with our bodies, and the way you made me feel like more of man when I was with you. I need to start forgetting the night in the truck, the ride through the country, and forget the way you smelled on my hands after every time I left you. I need to forget the way you looked at me when we made love, forget the way your voice changed when you got defensive, forget the way you say my name. I’ll start forgetting the way I smiled when ever you came into a room, or when I would see you for the first time every time how happy I would get. I really will start forgetting your beautiful smile. The way your hair looks when you’re hanging over me to kiss me. I’ll forget the way you traced my tattoos with your finger when we sat and talked. I’ll forget the first beer we had together and how cute you looked in the moon light. I’ll forget you saying that you want me to be yours. It’s time to start forgetting the way you walk, the way you focus when you’re busy and how cute you are when you talk about your dogs. I’ll forget the way we became best friends, and how we talked everyday. I’ll start forgetting how work stresses you out and that I was always here for you to vent, to cheer you up, and empathize with your work frustration. I’ll forget how much your boss cuts you down and makes you feel inadequate. I’ll start forgetting how I pushed you to do more, forget the way I gave you a helping hand without you even having to ask. I’ll forget the flowers I got you, the candy that made you smile, and the little moments of happiness I tried to give you. I’ll start forgetting the letters, cards, and words I gave to you from my heart. I’ll start forgetting how you worked so hard and got no appreciation from anyone. I’ll forget that I told you I was proud of you for achieving your goals, and taking control of your life. Mostly I’ll forget the day you told me you were working it out with him. I will forget the hurt you caused me by choosing everything over me… I don’t want to forget any of it, but you block me out, so what am I going to do with all these thoughts consuming my mind? The greatest love, it is amazing when you love me back, but I guess I need to forget that too. LH, I don’t want this. 


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