There are so many words that should convey what it is I’m feeling right now, but they just seem to fall short every time of what it is that I’m actully feeling. The week has dragged on, and it looks to drag on even longer with the coming silence. I hate to think so much time together can be gone so quickly, but then again, I have wondered about a lot of things lately, and not really getting any real answers. Sure I can just bull my way through, shut things out, and move forward broken. I guess I’m choosing not to do that this time. I don’t know why, as the writing seems very clear, but honestly, I have read things wrong before, and this is why I am where I am I do believe.
I am not blaming anyone, I’m not mad at anyone, hell, I am just sad, and that is the one constant feeling that doesn’t go away. The roller coaster that is my life doesn’t seem to have a place to stop so I can get off and get my head straight. I am busier than I should be, but I still find time to do this, this thinking thing, writing out my feelings and shit. I know it’s wrong that I can’t move on, but what can I do? Time will heal all pain they say, and I know it to be true, but I just want you. I know it won’t ever be the same, that’s what I keep telling myself, but I know with change can come great things, whether I see them right off, or later.
So much to say about love, but all I can do is breath, set up autopilot, and cruise through life until something snaps me back, or sets me straight. Full of hope and fears, I look in the mirror one last time to make sure I’m still breathing, nod at myself, and hit play on my music until I passout. Tomorrow… it’s a new day.