For fear of saying too much, or the wrong thing, I’ll just say this; I love you, and I’m sorry for my part with the stress you’re feeling.
Now this, We process things differently, and learning when to let up, or stop talking is a learning process for each other. The give and take is hard to read when we are in separate lives, while one is a communicator and the other is a internalizer. Opposites attract they say, and we are hitting those attractions.
I must have looked at messenger 1000 times today praying you’d say something to me, even just a, hey. I looked at all the pictures, all the words, and everything in between. I saw two people who love each other, and are struggling with what to do next. Where do we go from here? I must have written out at least 100 messages, only to delete them. This is how this blog started, I couldn’t hit send, so I came here at midnight and just kept writing. Not really sure if you’ll ever read this, but it’s ok if you don’t.
I’m not throwing in the towel, I’m not giving up, I’m too stubborn. Even if you’re letting go, I’m strong enough to hold us both. I am learning, I am working, and I am listening to everything. I try too hard, and that’s a problem, so relaxing is something I’m going to try. In a years time I have discovered so many things about myself that I never knew. The biggest is the capacity to love on such a grand level, and to allow myself to feel the pain and happiness that comes with it. I have let fear pack it’s bags, and move out. I found strength through writing, and felt love deep within my soul for the first time.
I just love you, and for me love is enough.