All for one

This has been my life moto for so long. I am an all in or all out type of person. But I find myself bending, maybe giving in, or a softening of my thought process when it comes to human emotion, love, caring, and most importantly, understanding.  

For these reasons I am in a halfway spot, and as much as I can’t stand it because it is new to me, I think it has helped me grow. I have had a freedom from myself, and I feel lighter without having to be all in or all out. The commitment that comes with that mindset is unforgiving, exhausting and time consuming to make sure all parties understand me.

I may have lost out on some wonderful people, things, events in my life for being that way. I mean, regret is a bitch with time, so I try not to live in regret. Moving forward everyday with an openess of life, and how not everything is so cut and dry, and somethings, people, are not willing or able to make that commitment, so instead of me writing everything  and everyone off, maybe I give chances, give half, expect half, and maybe get whole some day, but never hold it against anyone for chosing to stay half, or dabble back and forth from whole to half. 

As hard as life has been on me, why can’t I let somethings be as easy as they really are? 

Because I am all in or all out.

Halfway has always meant it could fail, and I’d rather save myself the pain of a slow rip over the fast ripping of my heart. No need to prolong stuff, just get it done, or get on it.

Halfway huh? Maybe people need to start meeting me halfway instead of me always chasing them?! Maybe I need to sit and let people figure out what’s important to them without me adding my crazy input.

Halfway is new, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.


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