Abandon ship…


Have you ever felt like you’ve been on a sinking ship? Nothing around you but a vast open area that swallows you as the insignificant person you are.

Have you ever had anyone try and save you, throwing a raft your way, hit you in the face, only to watch it fall and sink as soon as it hits the water? 

There is no one here that cares, there is no one here to pull you ashore. There’s only you, slowly sinking into the abyss that is your darkness, your sinking ship, you are sinking and no one gives a shit.

They pretend to, with words, but that’s it. No real help, no one wants to get into the ship with you to start removing some water, to find where the leak is. They are afraid that they will sink with you, become apart of the sinking ship. 

My shame, my pain, my sadness, my loneliness is mine alone. Too many are wrapped up in chasing something else other than me. Too many times I’ve made excuses as to why they treat me this way, and I am tired of it. 

I am human, I have feeling and emotions, and well, that’s a weakness I have, and I’m actually ok with it. I’d hate to be holding it all in all the time. The release is real, it falls on deaf ears, but at least I feel better. 

Yes my ship is slowly sinking, but I am trying to remove the water, the heavy things weighing me down, fixing the leaks, only to find two more in it’s place. The battle I have to endure is real, and somedays I just want to stop chasing what isn’t mine to fix. I didn’t put all these holes here, no, but I’m left trying to patch them up with bandaids and tape. 

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