My poison is my comfort

Knowing my poison is different then drinking it.

You pretend to know me, but refuse to acknowledge me, I have been down this road before, you have nothing to fear as I will hold you here, You speak of me as if we’ve been one, but all you want to do is run away from the truth in you. It’s to real for you, as you shut it all down to stop how you feel, never realizing what you have destroyed. 

You can try to forget what you did to me, but we both know when you lie awake at night, you’ll always wonder why you turned away. Why you left me out in the darkness of our memories. Here we are once again, believe what you conceived in your own head, poisoned, you have no cure, home is where you lie your sickened heart, but the walls you created are crumbling down around you as you thrash around wondering how you got here.

You pretended to be someone I could count on, but when it mattered most I was left behind, you stared clear of any promises, and commitment so you could be carefree when it got real, and when you forced that shoe to finally drop, you could justify your already preconceived “told you so” moment you lived for.

Murdered the love that was just born, you got so scared for how quick you fell, that you took all your knives and started hacking at anything and everything that came near you for attention. Never let yourself be caught in a vulnerable emotion, this way no one could expose you for weakness. Always assuming emotion is weakness, and you could never be exposed to such horror.

You have abandoned me, I’m not letting go of everything you said, I still remember you made us this way, this is the way I lament! I may never understand why you killed something so pure, I may never understand why you walked away from an undying love, I guess, I will never understand.. 

One last drink of my poison, then sleep will come, and when I wake, a new day comes to start over, and this pain will be numbed once again with a drink…. here is my life.

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