What’s coming?

I need to remember, I need to remember,I need to remember, I need the reminder,

As easy it is for you… 

Don’t you remember that? One night changed my life… I was already in love with you, and I can’t believe that it’s already different for you. I thought you said you needed me, and I have never faltered. I never wavered…

I have never been so hurt by someone else’s choices. Why do I let that choices of others effect me so? Why do I feel like it’s a personal attack on me? I have never let anyone in this close and these are the reasons why. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my soul is open. Yes, I actually feel, I can allow myself to be human for once. Instead of angry, and negative all the time.

I never wanted you to see the fucked up side of me, the anger I keep locked up deep inside. I never wanted to let you know who I used to be, and who I run from, so I allow myself to be hurt by you. I have never been here, I have never wanted to lose it all for someone.

The fear I have has nothing to do with what you fear, all justified, all rational, but all minuscule on the pages of our life. Fear keeps you at bay, and so does comfort. The fear drives you back, and the comfort helps ease the fear. 

I could drone on about this, but it’s almost 1:30am on a Tuesday, and I need sleep. Even though she wanted me not, I can still function in the up right position with her denial of seeing me. Well, the clock is ticking, and so is my heart. Nerves set in, and then everything changes. What choices will be made? What road will she take? We’ll know soon enough. Love has made some big changes in my life, what’s the future hold? Time will tell. 


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