Sacrifices are needed to make change, to make life better, to eventually get you past something in your life. Giving up on something, losing something, or moving past something you’re afraid of. It can be for the betterment of a relationship, or better life, better health, a vast array of reasons people make sacrifices. What is it that you need to give up to get where/what you want.
Then there’s the sacrifice that doesn’t pan out… Yeah; Just because you gave something up to get better, or move forward, doesn’t mean it will happen. You could give up so much, and get nothing in return. The sacrifices are just that, a sacrifice. There is no guarantee with a sacrifice, just hopeful options. But giving up things for better is what it’s all about, taking that chance.
Sacrifice + Chance = Hope
I have sacrificed so much, and I think that it was all for not. I couldn’t give up anything more than I already have to get where I want to be. If I sacrifice so much, there will be nothing left of who I am. Maybe that’s the point? At this moment though, I don’t see it that way. When you have a goal, a plan, a vision, and when everything you do is met with, resistance, hesitation, and/or question, then maybe this sacrifice, or sacrifices have been all lost on this chance.
I was pretty pissed, and really heart broken about it, but I realized something came out of all that I have done. I found a better version of myself that I am very comfortable with. It has been hidden for so long, that I forgot what I used to be. I used to know what real love was like, and now I know what it’s like. I know I am caring, romantic, loving, and I have been able to put someone’s feelings, before my own. This sacrifice I have made wasn’t made in vane.
Sure, I don’t get what I wanted, what love I feel will hopefully be for someone that makes sacrifices for me. I want love… I want to be loved… I haven’t ever been able to be myself with someone, and I’m not sure if I ever will be able too. I can start out like that, but then usually have to lock it up, move it, or bury it, and out comes this shell of who I really am. I am a lot of things for a lot of people, but I am not who I am supposed to be for myself. I will make changes, and I will surround myself with ones who want me to be me. I can’t accept anything less, because if I do, then the sacrifices I have made, become obsolete.