Heart shredder. 

I’d rather be dead than feel the pain I feel right now. It’s not even a whole day and I want to cave in, fold myself up into an infinite of nothingness. Disappear on the plains of existence, not so much as a trace. 

I know I can’t out run this hurt, I know I can’t turn my back on it, I know that this hurt, it’s a spike in my soul, tearing away at my very core. These words fall short of depicting how broken I am.

So shredded by her silence, I have to wonder how easy it is for her? I am clawing at my brain trying to remove these feelings of worthlessness. I have been so easily dismissed, tossed aside like a used coffee cup. 

I have poured my entire being into her, and it wasn’t good enough… The standard must be set so high and I didn’t even come close to it. I thought my love was grand, it was full, warm, and everything she needed and could ever want. I am a fool for thinking I had something special that she couldn’t live without. 

Hear I am, the one living without, the one longing for something that resembled what we had. Even if it wasn’t as real for her, it was for me, and I am missing her, even through all this pain, all this soul crushing defeat, I want her back, I want us, I need to hear her voice, feel her lips on mine. I am sitting here, I am changing, I am losing her, while getting lost in me. 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s